Whenever I ask parishes who they want to see more of at their parish, 9 times out of 10 I will hear: "More young families!"

And I get it. Young families are a sign of parish vibrancy — plus we all know that you need new people with longevity to be able to keep a parish afloat.

So the first thing I ask after hearing a parish wants more young families is, "What do you have for young families?"

And 9 times out of 10, it gets really quiet.

I'm going to say this right now: If you want more young families at your parish, you need to have things specifically geared towards young families.

But what those things are isn't necessarily more events (yes, I can hear you cheering from here).

It's more about mentality and culture than programming.

So as a mom of three kids 5 and under, here's what I would recommend you do to attract more young families to your parish:

Show young families at your church, and speak their language.

Yes, I know, it's hard to show what you don't have. But if you have any pictures of young families, SHOW THEM.

(This can be difficult with families who don't want photos of their kids online. Always always always ask permission before taking pictures, especially of families. Pro tip: Taking photos of families from behind can help with keeping anonymity but still showing that you have a family feel at your church.)

If you don't have photos you can use on your website or social media, at least try to use their language. Talk about how their children are welcome even if they make some noise and it's hard for them to sit through Mass. See and reflect their experiences — for example, they might not have 30 minutes of uninterrupted prayer time every day, but here are 5 prayers you can pray while waiting in the school pickup line or folding laundry.

And understand their unique issues and struggles. Maybe they don't feel well catechized in the faith themselves so they aren't sure how to pass it on to their children. Or perhaps they are feeling uncomfortable being Catholic in their friend groups where everyone is bashing the Church's teachings.

Figure out their struggles, and then talk about how you can help with them!

The more relatable you seem in words and photos, the more likely young families are to trust you and feel like you might be able to help them.

Get your older parishioners on board.

A culture that welcomes young families starts with your other parishioners. If young families feel judged, they will not come back.

I have never once been made to feel like having my children at Mass was an inconvenience. In fact, we have several couples who purposefully try to sit near us at Mass because they love seeing our kids.

But I know that is sadly not always the case in other parishes.

If you want to get more young families at church, you need to start with your other parishioners. Explain this goal to the whole congregation, and share ways that they can be helpful and encouraging to young families (i.e. leaving space on the ends of pews for parents who might need to get up with children in the middle of Mass or simply smiling at parents who are trying to get kids to behave instead of making comments).

Have Catholic toys/books for kids during Mass.

A great signal to families is when a parish offers something for the kids to engage with during Mass. Shared Catholic toys, books, even coloring sheets can be a great way to help young children get something out of Mass and show parents that you truly care about helping them raise their children in the faith (and maybe get something out of Mass themselves too).

There are so many great options out there. If you want any recommendations, hit reply with what you're looking for (kids' missal, Catholic Mass toys, etc.) and I'll share some of my favorites!

Have young family essentials on hand.

Another great signal to young families? Having baby and toddler bathroom and first aid essentials on hand. Clearly marked bathrooms with changing tables, stools to reach sinks, having diapers and wipes on hand, bandaids at the ready — these are little touches that show young families, "We see you."

In turn? They will be quick to tell other young families searching for a church about how awesome you are.

Have childcare for adult events.

I know this can be difficult to arrange, but having something for kids to do while attending a lecture or Bible study would be a huge motivator for more young families to get involved.

You don't have to have an elaborate program planned for the kids — even just setting up some snacks and Catholic shows on Formed with chaperones can be a huge blessing — though of course having faith-focused crafts and activities never hurts.

For families with older children, you could also host these kinds of programs during religious education to encourage parents to attend since they're already there for drop off and pickup.

Offer family-specific programs.

Brainstorm some events that are specific for families! Family Adoration time (bonus if you can have a priest hear confessions during it so parents can take advantage of that sacrament too!), game or movie nights, and catechesis-focused events like Family Stations of the Cross, All Saints Day parties, Advent and other liturgical season-themed programs — the possibilities are really endless.

"Mom and me" style groups are also fantastic if you can get a few moms together to run it!

With all of these, don't forget to have some on weeknights or weekends to accommodate working families.

Pro tip: If you have any young families who are involved in the parish, ask them what they would be looking for and what would encourage them to attend a family-style event. Often what we think people want and what they actually want can be two different things!

Organize off-campus outings.

Not everything church-related program needs to happen in a formal church setting. Sometimes, it can be easier to invite someone not already attending church to a "churchy" event that's held in a more neutral location. For example, you could organize a park meet-up or a family field trip to a local attraction.

Host family-oriented community services at your church.

Consider renting out your hall space to community services oriented towards young families, like CPR classes for new parents or tutoring. Never discount the effect simply having the pastor pop in to say hello or leaving some information about the church outside the rented space can have!

Go where young families are.

We talk a lot about digital communications in this newsletter, but nothing beats getting to meet young families in person! Think about any community events where young families might be (community days/fairs and parades can be great for this!) and have a table or presence from the church. Bonus if you can get young families to represent the church at these kinds of events as other young families will naturally be attracted to a church that feels like it is welcoming to families like them!

Make sure you have communications channels young families use.

Speaking of digital communications, make sure you have communications channels young families use, like email, text, and social media. Only having things in the bulletin is a sure way to make sure young families don't hear about it!

Invite them to get involved in small ways.

Most of these ideas have been things you can offer for families. But sometimes, parishes aren't just looking for more young families — they're looking for more young families to volunteer.

Young families probably aren't the ideal people to ask for big things that take up a lot of time.

But you can absolutely still invite them to get involved. Pro tip: Figure out a volunteer task and break it down into smaller tasks that someone could do in just a few minutes here and there.

Here are some ideas:

• Ask them to be a "text buddy" for a new family.
• Invite them to be a prayer partner: They could pray for your priests, sacrament students, those having funeral Masses at the church, etc.
• They might not be able to sign up for regular maintenance help, but ask if they could help set up tables after Mass one day for an event.
• Ask if they could add events to the parish website or monitor comments on a social media page.
• Invite them to become a parish ambassador by recommending your parish in local online moms groups or in person when people are looking for a parish.
• They might not be able to be a catechist, but ask if they could come to one class to talk about living their faith in the "real world."

Pro tip: Don't just put this out in the bulletin or email. Ask people individually. The personalized ask always has a higher success rate!

That's a lot, and trust me, I have more ideas (maybe I'll do a part 2 at some point!).

But the most important thing to know when trying to get more young families involved at your church?

Young families are BUSY. The to-do lists truly never end. Just getting everyone to church each week is an Olympic feat, let alone trying to make it to an event or program.

We aren't looking for "more." (Unless it's sleep.)

So instead of figuring out how to get young families to do more at your church, try to figure out how you can help.

How can you add faith into things young families are already doing? How can you support them in raising children in the faith without adding something else to their calendar or to-do list? How can you gently show them that church is something to prioritize in their families?

And most of all, pray for them. Pray for young families and the parents leading them. We need all the graces we can get!

For His greater glory,

Emily